Looking at Lashunn

By: Jeremy Chisenhall, Asst. Editor

Every week for this football season I will be doing a player spotlight to show a player who excelled on, or maybe off of, the field. For my first spotlight, I want to highlight Junior Lashunn Townsend's performance on the field this past week against Walton Verona.

He was crucial for their victory against the Bearcats, as he led the team in multiple statistical categories; including rushing yards and yards per-catch. Townsend had three rushing attempts for 80 yards and a touchdown, as well as three catches for 64 receiving yards. One of his three catches was a clutch reception on third and long that would set up the game-winning touchdown pass from Jordan Fann to Charles Gaines. 

I had a moment to catch up with Townsend, and ask him a couple questions about his performance.

When asked if he thought the game was in Lloyd's hands after his catch late in the game which set up the game-winning play, his response was rather simple.

"Yes, it was (in our hands)."

I also asked him if he expected to continue to be the team's leading rusher for the rest of the season, and he stayed humble in his answer. 

"No, Justin (Durham) was injured so I had to make it up. When Justin comes back he will be the leading rusher."

Townsend was a great contributor to the win against Walton Verona, and is sure to be an impact player all season long, perhaps even landing himself on the player spotlight once again. 

Friday Night Juggs vs. Tigers

Black out night at Cecil Dees Memorial Field

Lashunn Townsend for the completion

Tigers Trample Lloyd

By: Isabel Harrison, Editorial Editor

 Lloyd took on the Beechwood Tigers at home this past Friday for a packed crowd, everyone anticipating a close game. The student section was clad in black, and ready for a fight. The stand erupted into chants and cheers right from kickoff. This was a huge game.

Beechwood was the first to score. They ran it in with a two point conversion with 7:31 left in the first quarter. The Juggs answered with a pass to Lushunn Townsend for a gain of 34, leading to a touchdown for Charles Gaines and a successful two point conversion. The games tied 8-8 at the end of the first quarter, and the crowd is fired up with the possibility of a win still in sight.

The excitement quickly turned to tension as Beechwood completes a pass for another TD and extra point. It’s now 15-8 with 10:34 left in the half. Lloyd would again retaliate with many major gains down the field resulting in another Charles Gaines touchdown. Extra point is no good. The score is 15-14; the Tigers are fourth down and goal, and the Juggernauts stop them at the five. The fans scream and jump from their seats at the defensive victory, and the opportunity to take the lead.

Once again, the hope was short lasted. The Tigers intercepted the ball with 1:07 to go, and ran it in for a touchdown. Alex Runion returned the ball to Lloyd’s 35, followed by Jamorrow Dawson clutching a first down at the 50. Just when the stands started to light up again, another crushing interception was run in for a touchdown. The score at the half was 28-14, Beechwood Tigers.

Beechwood got yet another touchdown in the start of the 3^rd quarter, giving them 35, while Lloyd remains at 14. Runion got the punt return to the 36, followed by a major catch by Dawson with 5:36 left in the quarter. Just as they approached the end zone, QB throws his third interception of the night for another Tiger TD in the 4^th. They fail a two point conversion for a score of 41-14.

At this point, aside from the cheerleaders, everyone is either groaning or seeking refuge in the concession stand. Lloyd’s possession. Justin Durham runs the ball to Beechwood’s 33, then a Gaines first down and goal. Finally, a touchdown by Creech and the two points conversion is good. The score is 41-22 with 6:06 left in the game.

The game ended with another Tiger touchdown, Runion injured and taken out of the game, and the fourth and final interception of the game. I suppose we should be thankful that the time ran out before they could score off of it. Final score: 48-22, Tigers.

Baseball Update

Haley Harper

It seems like the baseball season has just started, but really it's close to the end. The Juggs are 5-8 this far with 2 weeks of games left. 

Coach Fuller says there are many middle school students who are new to high school level baseball and are learning what it takes to play the game. Knowing what it takes to play games is important for those young men to know. Seniors Hayden Molitor and Ben Traylor are doing what it takes to train the juniors to take their places next year. 

The biggest accomplishment this far would have to be beating St. Henry 4-0. Everyone should come out to these last few games to support the guys! 

What Are You Doing this Summer?

By Alex Mahoney

Summer is right around the corner and everybody has something planned, whether that`s lying around and watching Netflix all day or vacationing in Florida. There’s plenty of things for people to do. These are just from a few people we got the time to ask.

When asked about her summer, Camille said that she plans on working to get a car, to tan, and to start loving life outside of high school. She then has plans to continue her schooling in the spring. Sounds like she has everything thought out!

Continuing on the next person that I spoke to was Nathan, who plans on having a “road trip to anywhere, just pick a direction with friends.” Then after that he said he plans on going to New York, probably, and then going to Tennessee. So he has quite the adventure planned for his summer. Not a lot of people get these chances.

Then the last one I got to ask was Kirsten, and she plans on traveling to England with her grandmother, which is an extremely exciting possibility. Not to mention she plans on sleeping, eating, and watching Netflix, according to her just “doing my thang,” all of which sounds very relaxing.

There’s a lot going on this summer, and I wish I’d have had more time to interview people, but the bottom line is that you should go out and enjoy your summer as much as you can!

Warped Tour 2K15

By: Andrew Stookey

The annual Vans Warped Tour is an event many music enthusiasts in the Tri-State area look forward to each year. With a varying lineup of many different artists, and multiple genres of music, there is always something for everybody. Don’t know much about Warped Tour? Here’s a little information about the show!

This year, as it does with every year, Warped comes to the Riverbend Music Center. The date is Thursday, July 16th, and starts at 10 AM, and goes on until 9 PM. There are 91 different bands and artists playing this year, including rapper Riff-Raff, rock band Asking Alexandria, the light acoustic group This Wild Life.

Ticket prices range from around $55 up to about $100, depending on if you want basic tickets or extra access included in your visit. These extras may include behind-the-stage access, signed gear from bands and artists, free merchandise, or even a meeting with a band or artist.

Along with the great music you will hear, Warped Tour offers many food and snack stations, mist stations to keep cool in the July heat, and even a Slip ‘n’ Slide to have a little fun! Also, many of the performers have booths set up where they will sign merchandise and talk with fans.

Warped Tour only comes once a year, and you can check out the bands performing at their website. If you enjoy any of them, or just want to go have a good time and maybe check out some new bands or artists, come on out to Warped Tour! It’s sure to be a great time, and if you do, I’ll see you there!

Embarrassing Moments

Aryan Overstreet

We all have those moments that are cringe worthy, when we want to hide inside our house forever, and when red becomes the color of our face. Embarrassment.

At the time it happens, we just want to run away from the embarrassment, but today, we`re going to embrace it. Come on, there`s not one person in this world who`s never been embarrassed. It`s normal.
I also encourage you to not make fun of anyone when they encounter one of these moments because it just as well could`ve been you.

Many of us have walked into class late and everyone just stares at you until you make it to your seat. But why?! Hey, at least they showed up. No one should be made to feel EXTRA uncomfortable because we all know they probably were in the first place. There are moments when people have food stuck in their teeth, wardrobe malfunctions, staining your clothes, sweating, falling in public, et cetera, and we should all acknowledge this as a silly way life laughs at us.

Beginning the Softball Season

The Lady Juggs` Softball team this year started out with a whopping eight seniors. And although the season started with a lot of snow/rain outs the Juggs aren’t doing too terribly bad with the thirteen game cancelations. They do not have a winning record, but there is still plenty of time in the season to reach that goal.

The season started out with the Ladies playing a team that wasn’t even on their schedule. The Juggs lost to Simon Kenton as it was only their second time outside all season and first time on a field. They then played Boone Co., who they have not played for about 2 years now, and lost-this was their third time outside and second time on a field.

Next for the Juggs was their first All A game. The Juggs played Villa Madonna and won 8-3. In between All A games the Juggs gained more field experience as they played 4 games, one of those being a district game. The Juggs didn’t win any of these 4 games, but three of them were very close games.

Then they continued the All A tournament and played Bellevue-they won 16-0 in 5th innings. They then played Dayton in tough battled but lost 10-7 in the 8th inning. The struggle during this game was that they had three seniors-two of which started-quit after the Bellevue game.

The Juggs then played Highlands and struggled to get momentum going. They lost that game, but came back Saturday to win both games in their double header. They beat Calvary Christian 12-2 in 6 innings and Bath Co. 10-9 with an amazing comeback after being down 9-2 going into the 7th.

The Juggs have the potential for a great season this year with around 20 games left.

Prom is …. Fun?

By Chris Deras

It’s that time again juniors and seniors! Prom is this Friday and between asking someone to be your prom date, looking for the proper clothes, jewelry, and all other prom necessities, and setting up appointments for your hair, make up and nails you may find little time to work, keep up with school, and do your other extra-curricular activities which is leaving you stressed out. Not to mention how expensive prom is in general, so you’re just flat out broke, but don’t fret because after prom the school year begins to dwindle and before you know it graduation will be upon us and then summer, so just hang in there.

Prom Rap

Turkey Burger Rap Group
Subpar J&B Productions

Put on yo dancing shoes, Go to prom and you cannot lose.
Get ready to have some fun, If you haven’t got your ticket you better run.
Prom is the best day of the year, Seniors will all probably shed a tear.
Fancy tuxedos and long dresses, The dance floor may get a little reckless.
King and Queen will get their crown, If you don’t win don’t be down, Just turn that frown upside down, Dance your butt off till the sun goes down.
Ludwig is in charge so it’ll be a blast, Better find yourself a date really fast.
Theme of the dance is casino, That means card games and poker chips…WooHoo!
Just remember after the dance to be safe, Ruining such a perfect night would be a waste.
I hope you are as excited as us, Each of us will be looking dapper in our own tux.

Senior Signing Day

By: Mahfoudh Mohamed

On April 10th Lloyd made history, the first ever senior signing day. It was a special day for the senior: a day for them to get recognized in front of their family and peers for all the hard work they have put in over the years.

Our new counselor Ms. Glass introduced this program to Lloyd because it was such a success at her previous school. “We didn’t know how it would turn out here Lloyd because it was the first we’ve ever tried something like this, but it was a success,” Ms. Glass said,” We took the concept of athletes
signing to schools to basing it on academics.

Our beloved English teacher Ms. Ludwig also had something to say about the senior signing day, “I thought it was a great way to recognize students and it was cool for the underclassman to see what they could participate in their senior year” she said, “The more opportunities we can provide for students, the better.”

The seniors themselves also seemed to think that it was a great thing and that they really appreciated it. Senior James Viox stated, “It was a great thing, nothing like seeing my family and friends clap for me; it’s an amazing feeling.” He also added, “I want to give a huge thank you to Mr. Lehman and Ms. Glass for making it possible.”

No question, senior signing day was a plus for Lloyd high school. It couldn’t have happened without our counselors and our amazing faculty. This will be a part of the Juggernaut tradition for years to come.

Exam Mayhem

Emily Phillips

The dreaded time of exams is coming upon us. Anyone facing AP classes has been preparing for this moment since the beginning of the year. Studying hard, stress-eating, and an average of four hours of sleep per night is the only way to survive now. Brace yourself. Test days are coming.

Most students that will be taking the exams are facing unearthly amounts of anxiety. Assignments are piling up as procrastination to finish them increases, and more times than any this year I have heard the phrase, “I should just drop out.” This worry and doubt felt by examinees has spread like an infection throughout the school.

Haley Harper says, “Nobody’s prepared. Nobody.”

Tensions are high, and all we can do now is study, hope, and pray for a miracle. For those who are feeling confident, you must be the luckiest minority on the planet. My congratulations to you. To everyone else in a state of panic, we shall go to war and face the battle together.

Whether students are cramming their heads into books, falling asleep in class, ignoring their fate
altogether, or clinging on to some last bit of faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we will finish. We will get through exams. After that? Heck, our lives become easy as cake. Hold in there, Lloyd. AP is almost over.

Track and Field Update

By: Andrew Stookey

With regionals less than a month away, the LMHS track and field team is putting in work to guarantee a spot at state. Arduous practices and effort put in at meets is paying off, as the team is getting very high placings at meets.

It started off with a big indoor finale, with the boy’s team placing second in state. This start was a huge lead for the outdoor season, and a reminder to keep working hard to do even better during outdoor. With Coach Greg Enxel and new assistant Coach Bryant overseeing the distance team, this track team is sure to do better than ever.

When asked about the team, Coach Bryant said “I see a lot of potential in the team. I wrote down goals for the distance runners at the beginning of the season, and I feel like they all can hit them. I don’t care about winning. I just want to see these guys be better runners.”

Runner Addison Bosley said “The team definitely has potential to go to state, as long as they get their minds right.”

Support from the coaches, a desire to better the team, and the want to win more, so we’ll see how the Juggernauts do at regionals on May 9th. Lets go Juggs!

Teens Need More Sleep

By: Alex Mahoney

Teenagers need more sleep than any group of people around the same age all together. So you’d think that schools would realize that and make amends to that idea and change the system. You always see kids falling asleep in school, so why wouldn’t things change?

Sleeping in schools is problem that almost every teacher has experienced one time or another, so why wouldn’t they back up the issue that schools should start later or have shorter days?

According to Andrew Stookey, he gets about “7 to 8 hours of sleep every night and still comes to school tired,” resulting in sleeping in his classes.

Teens need 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night, to which, only about 15% of teens actually receive. Most are barely hanging on a thread. Most teens follow the schedule that they need as they stay up late in the week and then sleep late on the weekends, which effects the quality of sleep and how things can go for them. Many teens end up with sleeping disorders because of this, and it can become a major problem.

Along with Addison Bosley, says “I get about 6 hours and I’m not too tired, just used to it. I wish I could get more.” He said after a few questions.

Without the right amount of sleep it can cause health problems, behavioral issues and then limit your overall ability to learn. All of this would be solved given the opportunities to give teens more time to sleep.

Think, things can still be accomplished and people will still be getting what they need to be done. Time won’t be the problem since the students would be awake and attentive all around during the class.

Most students would rally behind it seeing as they are the ones who are at the bad end of the deal, so if you really want things to change, get to work and fight for what you think that we deserve.

2015 Juggernaut Tennis Squad

By: James Viox

Yes, it’s that time of the year again where some of the most talented and skillful students/players come out and dominate the courts. Tennis season is here ladies and gentlemen. This year’s team looks determined to have a strong season and finish on a high note. This year’s team includes 7 seniors (4 boys, 3 girls) and joining them is the returning coach coming out of retirement, Ms. Donnell.

Last year Lloyd had two doubles teams and two singles players who went to the regional competition, but unfortunately they suffered hard fought losses in the first round. Senior, Brent Christiansen states, “We’re really looking to bounce back from our disappointing losses last year. We’ve been putting extra work in at the courts as a team and individually. If that’s not dedication and determination, I don’t know what is”.

The Juggernauts tennis team is currently about halfway through their season scheduled games. At this point in the season the team has had a lot of success with most players having above .500 records (or winning over half of their games played). Senior, Habsa Dia, who plays 1st singles for the girls says,

“One goal I have for the rest of the season is win the majority of the games that I have left to play,
it’ll be a challenge, but I’m confident in my ability and focus”.

The tennis team has a big conference match against Newport Central Catholic next Wednesday, April 22. Come out and support your fellow Juggernaut tennis team as they could use the support in one of their biggest matches of the year.

Lloyd Archery Tournament 2015

By Lauren Trevor

Starting in the fall of last year, Lloyd’s 2014-15 archery team has certainly come a long way. This last season was the team’s second year since being reestablished in the Lloyd sports community as a ‘club.’ Through the seasons many scheduling issues have occurred, and due to the limited gym usage, the archery team was forced to meet before school, where the truly dedicated archers sacrificed sleep for self-improvement.

Between this year and the last, the team attended over a dozen archery tournaments, some located as far away as Louisville, Kentucky. But this season, the archery team turned the tables and hosted Lloyd’s very first archery tournament. The event occurred on Friday, March 27th and Saturday, March 28th and was located in Scheben gymnasium. The event was coordinated by Lloyd’s Archery coach, Rhonda Smith, and was run by both Lloyd and Tichenor archery team members, as well as Lloyd staff and other volunteers. There were over 300 archers signed up for the event from several schools across the district, and over six flights were run in total. In addition to the main tournament, Lloyd had an optional 3D shoot in Lloyd’s gym, where one would shoot at life-size animal mannequins for points. Although some unexpected issues occurred, like the fire alarm unfortunately forcing everyone outside during the middle of a flight, the tournament was an overall success and helped to raise funds for the archery team for years to come. When questioned about the tournament, an anonymous volunteer had this to say:

“Considering it was [Lloyd’s] first tournament and her first hosting of one, I think Mrs. Smith did well.”

If Lloyd were to again host one of these tournaments, many of the senior members have decided to return and volunteer again. When asked by Mrs. Smith if he would return Brandon Bryant replied with a short and unconvincing:

“Of course I’ll come help…”

But as a veteran of the team, I can assure you that, along with the rest of the team, he most definitely will help again next year. Mrs. Smith can be very persuasive.

Pistols and Posies

By Isabella Cross

The title Pistols and Posies made perfect sense after watching the performance. A mob boss by the name of Primo Malvone had tricked his wife into thinking that he “went straight” and he is no longer supplying booze. He had to fake a flower business to cover up his illegal activities. But there was another mob boss in town who wanted to take down her competition. She went by the name of Mama Mia. Mama Mia’s plan to get Primo arrested but it turned on her and she was the one locked up, while Primo’s kids made sure that their father wouldn’t go back to the life that got him into all this trouble in the first place.

Anyone who saw this year’s play will agree with me that this performance trumped all. You could easily tell how much hard work and effort was put in and that it certainly paid off. The whole room was filled with laughter throughout all the performances and it deserved no less. There were a plethora of accents that stole the show which included Camille Uribe’s Italian accent, Sarah Singleton’s mob boss enactment, and Brandon Bryant’s humorous Irish imitation.

“This was a Broadway-level play,” said Sarah Singleton, Senior.

This play certainly did not disappoint, and it was wonderful to see the talented students at this school have fun and accomplish such a memorable performance.

Lloyd Swims Their Way to State

The 2014-1015 Juggernaut Swim Team is making a historic run to State this year. This is only the third time in Lloyd Memorial High School history that an athletics’ team has made it to state. The last team to do this was the 1974 Football team. And before them the 1965 football team. Now it’s the Swim team’s time to rise to the occasion and bring home that state trophy.

Olympic swimmer Brendhan Haynes, was honored enough to be entered into the Kentucky Swimmers Association Hall of Fame Alliance of Passionate Swimmers, otherwise known as the KSAHFAPS. He is one of the major contributors towards this year’s swimming success, with being Lloyd`s new head swim coach this season. Haynes was most known for his performance in the 1996 summer Olympics in Great Britain for representing the United States and bringing home the silver medal in doggy-paddle race.

The swim team consists of 5 solid teammates. The most recognized being Mahfoudh Mohammed. Mahfoudh, A.K.A the man who walks on water, says “I’m ready to get out there on the water and swim like a fish in the sea”. Mahfoudh is in the top 5 swimmers on the KSA list (Kentucky Swimming Association), and has carried the team to this point in the season. Bring home that state title Juggs!

Lloyd-Dixie Switch Day

Haley Harper

The day has finally come where three lucky juniors at Dixie switch schools with three juniors at Lloyd to get a real sense of what a hoodrat is. Brooke Collins, Christina Hermes, and Mahfoudh Mohammed will be switching with Aaliyah Davis, Mia McCarey, and Josh Thomas.


Mia, Aaliyah, and Josh are all excited for the switch. "It's gonna be weird to see what it's like at a small school compared to the size of Dixie," says Mia, "I wanna check out the building and hopefully the students are nicer than they are here." Aaliyah, a cheerleader, is hoping to meet some of the current cheerleaders for Lloyd when she arrives, so don't be shy. Also, any musicians or singers should step up to meet Josh.


As for the Lloyd students, the three are hoping to find a major difference that proves Lloyd is the better rival. "Even if Lloyd doesn't have the best building, we would hate to leave. The teachers here are amazing and we're all like family," said Brooke while Christina agreed. As for the three AP Lloyd students switching to Dixie, don't be shy either. There's only so many chances you'll get to switch schools for a day.


The switch is currently set for April 31st, 2015. Both schools are hoping to learn what each can do better for the environment and teaching skills. Also, for upcoming juniors: see Mrs. Brady for qualifications to do this next year!

No More Parking!

By: Jordan Gentry

Although there is an outstanding amount of students who drive to school and park in both the front and back lots, the Board of Education along with our school have decided to stop student parking. The front and back parking lots will no longer be accessible by students; ONLY teachers will be allowed to park in the lots.

Due to the amount of terrible student parkers, it has become a problem for teachers to be able to park. Mr. Riehemann sternly stated that, “We as a staff are tired of seeing cars parked over the lines. If our students can’t park correctly then they can’t park here at all!” As most of us have seen, there are students who have taken up to FOUR parking spaces for ONE car. Mrs. Fowee expressed to me, “I understand on snowy days that it’s hard to see the lines, but other than that there is no reason for the revolting parking jobs done by our students.”

The staff from both Lloyd and Tichenor are fed up with the front lot parking. “The front parking lot is an eyesore. Any person that passes our parking lot is most likely disgusted at how bad our parking lot looks. And I would like to be able to park close to the school I work at and not 50,000 feet away because someone decided to use four parking spaces!” voiced Mrs. Akin, from Tichenor.

Not only is the front parking lot off limits, but so is the back. Mrs. Gillis is tired of making announcements for everyone to clear the parking lot for baseball, so she wants the back to be closed completely. The Board somewhat agreed with her. Since our school system has also decided to start bussing students to school the back parking lot is now strictly for busses.

Now, the school and Board know that some students have to drive to school due to certain after school activities so they have come up with a place to park. Because Graves Ave, and other streets close to the school, allow parking students can park there, and if they don’t park correctly then it’s the cities problem. The school will not be responsible for any damage to cars or towing because of bad parallel parking.

School Lunches Revealed

By Isabella Cross

Have you ever wondered what the ingredients in our delicious school lunches are? I was very interested to find out, and with some research, I made some pretty astonishing discoveries. Most of our food products are purchased from a company called IRC, and now I will share with you what I found out while snooping around on the internet.

Do you enjoy our scrumptious hamburgers but can’t help but notice a peculiar flavoring to them? Well, that’s because there is a small amount of soil mixed in in order to cut down the costs. And the chicken alfredo? Did you really think that it was made with actual chicken? Sorry guys. Just a little chicken flavoring goes a long way to cover up the taste of goop. Yes you read correctly, goop.
Now before you start thinking that only the meat is at fault, let’s talk about the vegetable selection.

When asked about the quality of the vegetables we use, lunch lady Mildred Caviar replied, “These are the finest vegetables in this part of Northern Kentucky!” But in reality Mildred, these vegetables are certainly not found at a farmers market. Rumor has it that they are actually made out of plastic. Nope, no real vegetables around here, just plastic. Now, just for the sake of you being able to eat school lunches again, I will not share my discoveries about school pizza.

Missing

By Emily Phillips

Name: Noble
Description: 5 years old; approximately the cutest, most adorable cat ever; likes turkey.
Award: $2,000

This was the only information I could gather from Ms. Ludwig as she blubbered into her arm. It has been almost a week since her feline friend has gone missing, and Ludwig fears the worst. She is willing to pay almost any price to be reunited with her adoring cat.

Ms. Ludwig was preparing to leave for work when she realized Noble was acting strange. So, like any good mother, she put a sweater on him. She patted her beloved cat on the head and wished him farewell.

However, upon opening the door Noble ran out between her feet. Ms. Ludwig was stunned, as all she could do was watch him scurry off into the distance.

“I am completely devastated,” croaked Ludwig, before breaking down into a fit of hysteria.

Noble has been reportedly seen still wearing his sweater near the McDonald’s on Dixie Highway. Ms. Ludwig advises all students to be on the lookout for her most cherished friend. She also suggests using turkey to lure him in.

This catastrophe may likely drive poor Ms. Ludwig to “quitting her job” and “roaming the streets of Newport.” The loss will remain dominant within her heart unless her darling Noble is found. Again, keep watch for a cat wearing a sweater. Save a life.

Newborn Breaks Records Not Even a Grown Man Can Accomplish

On a record breaking day, March 11, 2015, a legend was born. On this morning, Mr. Haynes and his wife welcomed their beautiful son Jackson Haynes. What most of us don’t know is that Jackson was born with a unique quality and a special gift. Jackson was born with the ultimate gift of facial hair. Jackson was born with a 5 o’clock shadow. Haynes’ child is now currently 16 days old and is said to have a beard that resembles the beard of Chuck Norris. Haynes’ baby doesn’t shave his beard, he dares it to grow.

Doctors say that Jackson’s unusual amount of facial hair is due to too much exposure towards the term “‘Merica”. Doctors say there have been studies done where when children’s parents are too “American” or patriotic while they are in the womb, they tend to mature to the ripe age of 35 but still have the appearance of a newborn. Haynes now has competition for best beard in the family.

If you look this up and coming Guinness Book of World Records, you’ll be able to find Mr. Haynes baby under “Youngest child to have ever been able to grow facial hair”. Jackson is the definition of an American baby. It’s been told that Haynes first reaction to seeing Jackson was, “Hey, alright!” The Haynes family perfectly depicts the image of a true ‘Merican family.

Salty

By Chris Deras

It’s safe to say I was extremely salty when salt was taken from us. Smiley fries no longer put a smile on my face. Instead it brings tears to my eyes which trickle down to my mouth and remind me of salt, then I cry some more. They then took the 2nd Bosco stick from us, and that’s when I knew that it was the end of indulging myself in actual good school food. That is until today, yes my friends, good school food is making a return. Doughnuts are being served for breakfast again, they are now putting out two Bosco sticks for lunch with REAL marinara sauce. Honey Mustard is coming back to save your overcooked, shriveled up, week old, harder than superman’s abs, synthetic, chicken nuggets. Last but not least above all else: the salt. The salt is returning, so you can smother the taste of all the school food with it, so instead of puking when you eat it you might just cringe a little bit.

Fight the Funk!

By: Andrew Stookey

The year is 2015. Ever since the dawn of humanity, people have been taking baths to cleanse themselves. Not only does it fight body odor, but it makes us look better, less grimy. Now, in our day and age, we have showers, a preferred way of cleaning ourselves. Body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in many different scents and odor fighting chemicals make staying clean as easy as ever, and deodorant furthers the effort to smell good.

But the problem remains. We’ve all been there. A freshman gets out of gym class and smells like straight B.O. Said child walks down the hall, and a wave of putrid filth crawls into everyone’s nostrils. Students and teachers alike are passing out, one by one, all because of one issue. The offender did not wear deodorant.

This year, the line was crossed by, of course, the freshmen. The school board has finally acted out on this problem, and is introducing something to high school that hasn’t been around for years. That’s right, kiddies. Showers are coming back. For all those odor offenders out there, mandatory in-school showers will be the punishment.

If a teacher detects a little bit of that freshman funk in the air, or they are tipped off by a bothered student, the one responsible for the rank will be sent straight to the office, where master sniffer Mr. Key will smell the dirty doer from head to toe, and make a decision. If the contaminated culprit fails inspection, they will be sent straight to the good ol’ locker room in the gym, where they will be forced to take a shower.

This punishment applies to both boys and girls, as we practice equal rights here at Lloyd Memorial. No more Stinky Susie’s or Tainted Tommy’s. Our school will become a place of freshness, and the noses of Lloyd will no longer have to face the smelly, the rancid, the fetid, and the fearsome funk. So if you forget to bring your deodorant, don’t forget to bring a towel.

England

By: Alex Mahoney

England, the main reason why we became our own country, caused all of the events that would happen due to the oppression of the colonists. Approximately 24.5 million people have roots that come from England, less than it would’ve been in the colonial era.

The great land of England is a nation in Europe that shares its land with Scotland and Wales. England is filled with its unlimited amounts of history and kings doing their own thing like they did for centuries; however, a lot has changed over time.

Some of the most interesting things that people don’t realize are that the English drink approximately 2.5 times more tea than Japanese and 22 times more than American’s or French people. Not to mention that for 300 years, 1066 to 1362, the official language of England was French, which seems wrong considering of their fighting over the time period of colonization and post colonization.
People in America base class off money, however in England money doesn’t matter; it comes down to background, education, manners, and way of speaking. Something strange that comes up while talking about class is that Oxford, the amazing, world renowned university, once had a rule that forbade people from bringing bows and arrows to class. To me that is a great surprise about a place like that, what could they have been doing?

People are always complaining about what goes on in public schools, or that they don’t like it; however, things are much different in England. They have public schools and state schools, not private and public schools like we have here. The free schools there are the state
schools, and the public ones are known for 13,500 pounds on average every year paid to attend school there.

When it comes to food and traditions of the English, the whole fish and chips thing, isn’t actually English at all, it’s really a Jewish idea of Joseph Malin back in 1860 was the very beginning. So it really was just one of those big misconceptions people have about different culture since they weren’t raised in it. A tradition that they have that would be found strange by most people today is that there is something they liked to do called cheese rolling in Brockworth, Gloucestershire. They gather once a year in May people “chase Double Gloucester cheese down the steep Cooper's Hill.” Yet as weird as that may sound they still have other events that involve cheese rolling.

It’s interesting to learn about what people who could’ve been related to you used to do. The real question now is that if you had a relative or ancestor from here, have they ever participated in such a strange pastime?

Italian Culture

By Haley Harper

Italy is a country with a very short history, shorter than the United States itself. Italy didn’t become a country until the year 1861. Italians immigrated to the United States, mainly from southern Italy, because of the severe poverty being faced. Poverty in Italy came from the various natural disasters that happened in the early 1900s, including the Messina earthquake and the tidal waves that came after killing over 100,000 people. The Messina earthquake was recorded at 7.1 on the moment magnitude scale, and destroyed almost all of the buildings in the city of Messina. Not only were the natural disasters of Italy a reason to migrate but also the wages people received. In southern Italy alone, the highest wage per week for a carpenter was only $1.80, while in the United States the wage for a carpenter would have been around $18 a week. With a booming economy in the United States, and a declining one in Italy, the Italians only option were to immigrate into the United States.

When migrating over to the great United States, we were under construction in recovery of industrialization. Immigrants were looking for jobs which headed them north east for factory jobs and low wages, but more than they would make back home. Industrialization made immigration life that much easier for them to settle. Factory owners were looking for employees to work for low wages, which the Italians supplied. In event to immigration itself, the jobs were near major cities and made them flock to Chicago, Buffalo, Detroit, and Philadelphia. Italian immigrants were a major contributor of American history.

In the field of traditions, the Italians have it all: food, art, and even language. Italian cuisines are mostly simple meals with vegetables and spices. All throughout the country, wine, cheese and pasta are serious parts of their heritage. In Northern Italy, fish, potatoes, rice, sausage, pork and cheese are the most common ingredients. In the southern part, dishes are mostly accompanied by tomatoes, capers, peppers, olives/olive oil, garlic, artichokes, eggplant, and ricotta cheese. As you can see in today’s culture of America, there are many of these things on the menus. Art is also a key component of Italian history. It can be seen anywhere in the country. Some of the styles include classical Roman, Renaissance, Baroque and Neoclassical. The most famous piece of art is the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Italy is also home to many world known fashion industries: Prada, Armani, Gucci, Benetton, and Versace. Believe it or not, Italy has more than one language. Some include Sicilian, Venetian, Croatian, Greek, and Walser. During evolution, languages seemed to come up out of nowhere. Tuscan dialect has dominated all other dialects since Tuscany is in the center of Italy and because of the aggressive commerce of the most important city of Florence.

My great grandma Nonni, or Nonna in Italian, immigrated from the southern part of Italy in the 40's. Not quite during the immigration boom, but she made it here. Our family traditions include get-togethers during the summer and on major holidays. Usually in the summer, we eat bruschetta with cheese and for dinner something along the lines of hamburgers with pasta salad, baked beans, and for desert is some type of fruit. As a family, we cherish all the time together we can get, especially as our family is growing, and we're making our own traditions.

Descending From France

By: James H. Viox

The French first came to North America in 1534. The King of France at the time sent Jacques Cartier to look for a trading passage that linked the Atlantic to the Pacific Ocean, and next set up the first French colony in the Americas led by Samuel de Champlain. Today there are more than 11 million people of French descent living in North America.

The French brought several possessions to the Americas that are still used today. One of the items they brought is their language; an estimated 500,000 people speak French in the U.S. today. They also brought their knowledge of education and art which we still use in our own education system.
They brought over their culinary ideas which are a huge success in America; these foods include fries, bread, different types of soups and desserts, and crepes. All these foods can be found in a local grocery store or restaurant. They brought their strong Roman Catholic views and religion over as well.

French Culture also plays very big roles in art, fashion, and sports. Gothic art first originated in France. The Louvre museum, located in France, is one of the biggest museums in the world and is home to famous Mona Lisa painted by Leonardo Da Vinci and also the famous sculpture Venus de Milo. French culture also plays a huge role in fashion. Several designer fashion companies’ headquarters are located in Milan, Paris, and London. These companies include Chanel and Louie Vuitton. Sports are also another area where French culture can be found. They host several iconic sporting events including the annual Tour de France, the tennis Grand Slam tournament the French Open. Parkour; a sport similar to martial arts was also developed in France and is played in the U.S.

Altogether, France roots and the French culture played as a big influence in a lot of the areas we interact with every day. They influenced part of our culture and are still influencing us every day by having descendants that live here to carry on their religion, education, food, and fashion.

Descending from Mauritania

By: Mahfoudh Mohamed

You’ve probably never heard of Mauritania, especially if you are from the United States because it never makes the news; it’s irrelevant. Mauritania is a mid-sized country located in western Africa in the middle of Morocco and Senegal. Not too many Mauritanians live here in America, in fact only about 4,000, and 90% live in the greater Cincinnati area.

Most people in Mauritania speak Hassaniya, an Arabic dialect; French is also spoken by many people there. Wolof and Puular are common in Mauritania as well. Mauritania was colonized by France until November 28, 1960, like most surrounding countries were under their ruling including Senegal, Algeria, and Morocco.

Mauritania is all about culture and religion. 100 percent of the population there practices Islam. People are expected to slaughter an animal according to the number of wives and the wealth of the husband. At the end of Ramadan, and at the sacrificial feast that ends the annual pilgrimage to Mecca, a married man is expected to offer a lamb. The meat must be eaten up within three days, or it is thrown away. It is customary to offer an animal in connection with name-giving, initiation, marriage, and funeral ceremonies, and when people return from Mecca or other important places. Only circumcised adult men are allowed to slaughter animals.

Mauritania is one of the least industrialized countries in the world. Only a few industries involve the production and partial processing of iron ore. There is a fish processing plant and an
oil refinery in Nouadhibou, a sugar refinery in Nouakchott, as well as a meat processing factory in Kaedi. Traditional crafts are produced in Nouakchott, and there is a textile factory in Rosso.

Mauritania is an Islamic republic with a highly centralized government in which power is vested in the executive president as head of state, aided by a prime minister who acts as the head of government and also a council of ministers. Since 1992, direct presidential elections have been scheduled every six years. Universal suffrage occurs at eighteen years of age. The legal system is derived from Islamic law and modern Western law. The legislative branch includes a legislature consisting of the fifty-six-seat Senate, who are all elected by mayors, for six-year terms and a seventy-nine-seat National Assembly, who are all elected by popular vote, for five-year terms. The judicial branch has lower courts, appeals courts, and a supreme court. Administratively, the country is divided into twelve regions. Twelve regions that not many people here know about!

The Emerald Isle

By Emily Phillips

Known to many as the “Land of Saints and Scholars,” Ireland has contained the roots of countless US citizens. As early as 1845, Irish immigrants started moving into America in search of a better life after the potato famine. Now, we enjoy sharing the cultures and traditions they brought with them.

Originally thought to be drunkards, most Irish people were given difficult, low-paying jobs, such as working on the transcontinental railroad. Later, however, Americans began to accept the Irish and even adopted some of their cultural aspects. The most popular tradition that we still celebrate with them today is St. Patrick’s Day.

Ireland is a vastly green island, deserving of the nickname “The Emerald Isle,” and its landscape consists of rolling hills, stunning cliffs, and beautiful castles. Citizens of Ireland may either live in its bustling cities, or in the many quaint villages that remain farming communities. Popular culture in Ireland remains relatively the same to ours in terms of television, music, literature, and movies.

The flag of Ireland is set into three color sections, the first being green, the second white, and the third orange, which represent the treaty/peacefulness between the Roman Catholics and the Protestants. This coexistence between cultures has granted Ireland the reputation of being extremely friendly. Common greetings including shaking hands, hugging, or kissing one another on the cheek.

Irish food, as it may shock some of you, consists of more than just potatoes. People of Ireland may enjoy Irish stew (meats, potatoes, onions, and carrots), Fry (sausages, bacon, tomato, mushrooms, egg, black & white pudding with soda bread), and Colcannon (potatoes, cabbage, and leeks). There is also Irish coffee, which is made from hot coffee, Irish whiskey, sugar and cream. Now that’s the way to start your day.

Citizens of Ireland appreciate much of the same material that we do here in America, including music and literature. Popular bands from Ireland include Aslan, The Corrs, The Cranberries, Boyzone (the original Irish boyband), and the ever-famous U2. Authors such as Bram Stoker, Oscar Wilde, James Joyce, Jonathan Swift, and William Butler Yeats are also Irish.

Many Americans will proudly proclaim their Irish heritage whenever asked about their bloodlines, and it’s only fair to say that they are most likely telling the truth.

“According to the Census, there are 34.5 million Americans who list their heritage as either primarily or partially Irish. That number is, incidentally, seven times larger than the population of Ireland itself (4.68 million). Irish is the second-most common ancestry among Americans, falling just behind German” (Kliff 1)

People in the US today can all enjoy the satisfaction of living in the “melting pot” that brings all of our heritages together. This cooperation between races and cultures is only the beginning to making our nation even greater.

Kliff, Sarah. "The Irish-American Population Is Seven times Larger than Ireland." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 17 Mar. 2013. Web. 19 Jan. 2015.

Mardi Gras

By Lauren Trevor

Gold, purple and green are three colors you can expect to see on Tuesday, February 17th. For those of you who aren’t already aware, this day is known as both Fat Tuesday, and less-commonly, Mardi Gras. In order to better understand this holiday and better prepare for any festivities to come, here are some important aspects about the date.

Mardi Gras is, as said before, on Fat Tuesday (day before Ash Wednesday) and is always exactly 47 days before Easter Sunday. Though today it has strong connections to the Christian Faith, it is believed that the origins of Mardi Gras date back thousands of years to large pagan ceremonies for spring and fertility. It acquired its Christian roots when the faith first arrived in Rome. As the faith became more and more prominent, leaders in Rome decided it was far easier to integrate the festivals into the religion rather than simply doing away with them, as they were a large characteristic of the local culture.

Mardi Gras festivals are a very important part of culture in different countries like Brazil, Italy, and the U.S. (the biggest festival in the U.S. is located in New Orleans) and many people, even those not of faith take part in the celebration. Some of the festivities one can expect to see include large parades, feasts, and dancing. During parades, beads and other small gifts are thrown out of the floats for the crowds to enjoy. Many patrons dress up in lavish costumes styled in gold, purple, and green, with glitter, feathers, and other brilliant ornaments, including elaborate masks.

Whether or not you are of faith, this festival is truly a sight to see, so grab some glitter and feathers and make a mask in celebration!

No More Outside Food

By Aryan Overstreet and Hayley Osborne

Starting the Monday after spring break, there is a new rule for Lloyd students. Outside food will no longer be permitted inside of the school building (only packed lunches, no restaurant foods).

Due to the high number of tardiness from stopping at Dunkin Donut`s or McDonald`s, the Lloyd faculty decided that this rule will greatly decrease the high number of late students.

Mrs. Partridge said, “I`m tired of signing in lines and lines of students every single morning, especially when they have great smelling food. The fact that I`m stuck behind a desk from 8 to 3 every day with no McGriddle is unfair. I think this new rule will be the best for my sanity.”

If you are caught sneaking in food through a grocery bag (etc.), the first offense is receiving lunch detention, and the second offense is PASS for two days. Also, if you`re a senior and have two or more offenses bringing in outside food, you will no longer be allowed to walk at graduation.

Mrs. Davis said, “It`s irritating when my first period students show up late and interrupt my lesson carrying a large, mocha flavored iced coffee, cream and regular sugar, and a bag of munchkins. They always end up spilling it and ruining my clean floors! This rule was needed years ago.”

Mr. Haynes added, “Yup, such a great rule.”

A newsletter informing students and parents of this new rule will be sent home the Friday before spring break.

You have two more days.

Good luck.

Volpenhein Pronounces His Love for Mr. Ryan

By: Mahfoudh Mohamed

Ever see Mr. Volpenhein and Mr. Ryan taking a stroll in the hallways? Or talking in between classes? Or lifting weights before school? If you have, you’re not alone, the whole school is aware.

According to a source, Volpenhein admitted his love for Mr. Ryan. The real question is, what kind of love? Volpenhein, a single bachelor, claims it’s just “Bro Love.” At what point does bro love go to the extreme, and cross into romanticism? We turn to the Professor of Love, Amadou Yero to answer this question.

According to Professor Yero, Bromance turns into romance when they spend more 7 hours a day together. I have been informed by sources that Volpenhein spent Valentine’s Day with Mr. Ryan and that is when he pronounced his love for him.

Mr. Volpenhein, a man that owns many cats even named one of his cats Mr. R, for Mr. Ryan. So if you ask me, this extreme bromance has went overboard and turned into romance.
At this point it’s all speculation folks, but it’s up to you to decide.

Soulja Boy Buys Lloyd

By: Mahfoudh Mohamed

Successful rapper DeAndre Cortez aka Soulja Boy has been rumored to want to buy Lloyd Memorial High School and turn it into a state of the art future Rappers Academy. With Lloyd’s diverse population, the king of “Crank Dat” is hoping to have both an Eminem and a Waka Flocka Flame in the mix.

The Lloyd Future Rappers Academy would offer classes including one to learn that Crank Dat Soulja Boy dance, how to dress like Soulja Boy, and how to spit the hot fire like Soulja Boy. When asked if he’ll keep the current teaching staff, he said he only wants Ms. Davis to stay aboard because he heard her rap about the Mole, and he thought it was more explosive than a chemical reaction. “She really knows how to spit some fire,” Soulja Boy said.

Other teachers will include rising rapper Lil Poopie who is just a 10 year old phenomenal rapper, Chief Keep from Chicago, and J- Money Jelly from Turkey Burgers.

As far as athletics go, the basketball team will be required to sag their game shorts to their knees, and the football team will be equipped with mandatory brass knuckles. The mascot will be changed to The Souljaz. The band is going to transform into one man with turn tables. Great future for Lloyd.

Lunch-time Entertainment Coming to Lloyd

By: Brent Christiansen

Have you grown tired? Tired of the endless days of going to lunch, eating, and simply going back to class? Well if so, those days are coming to an end boys and girls.

With the first trial run starting on April 31st during lunch, the FGFL, or the Freshman Gladiator Fighting league, is starting up. The objective: to pit those little freshman in crazy fights for the other students’ entertainment of course.

The freshman fighters will be encouraged to participate based on the possibility of extra credit to the winner and some sick new scars to show off to the ladies.

The current matchups are as follows:

Evan Molitor armed with his cats Simon and Holly VS. Jackson Bailey wearing his gas mask (1st Lunch)
Seth Christiansen wielding his Xbox One controller VS. Addison Viox accompanied by her GoldenDoodle Chloe by her side (2nd Lunch)

Get ready for some free entertainment Lloyd!!!!

Possible Mascot Change

By: Brent Christiansen

In an astounding turn of events, Lloyd Memorial High School may be going through a mascot change. The possible new mascot you ask? The creature, known for its agility, speed, and versatility goes by one name: the Platypus.

The Platypus, who has found a hero in the cartoon character Perry the Platypus from the Disney Channel Show “Phineas and Ferb,” has grown a following in the Lloyd hallways. With its growing student support, there is a push for the Platypus to boot out the mighty Juggernaut.

Student Amadou Yero, leader of the Platypus fan club and main advocate for the mascot change, released this statement: “The platypus is a noble and unappreciated creature in this country. I have witnessed the awe-inspiring greatness of the Playpus, and I feel like the diversity of its features truly represent the diversity in our school. I, 100%, believe the Platypus is the best choice to be the face, or rather the duckbill, of our school.”

In response to the uproar, a vote has been scheduled for April 31st. The showdown between the Juggernaut and the Platypus is afoot. Be on the lookout ladies and gentleman for the results.

Fascinating Fun Facts

By Habsa Dia

Here’s a list of some facts that you might not have known.

* Looking at the sun nonstop for 20 minutes has been proven to strengthen retinas.
* Photosynthesis is a myth.
* If you feed a bird rice upside-down, they’ll explode.
* If you cut a long vegetable lengthwise, the amount of vitamins doubles when eaten.
* When you sneeze too hard, you can crack your friend’s sternum.
* Spiders still have control in Hungary.
* Cats have 10 lives.
* Duct tape was originally intended for ducks to use.
* Nail polish was supposed to be used as long-lasting eye shadow, but it was later determined that it looks better on nails.
* The taller you are, the fewer mosquitos you attract.
* Human eyes can grow back.
* It is completely safe to have a plugged toaster in a filled bathtub.
* In Wisconsin, if you poke your dog in front of a police officer, you can receive up to 15 years in prison on charges of loitering.
* The further south you go, the less you weigh.
* Every year on June 31st, pets are allowed in any restaurant.

Chef Singleton

This week for Chef Singleton, I’ve decided to give you all a very special recipe. I am going to teach you all how to make one of my absolute favorites: Boneless Watermelon. It’s delicious and healthy, and relatively easy. Don’t worry, everyone can do it!

Ingredients:
* Car
* Money
* Driver’s license (or someone else who can drive)
* Grocery Store
* Watermelon
* Knife


Directions:
1. Get driver’s license and money
2. Locate grocery store nearest to you
3. Get in car
4. Drive to grocery store
5. Go in grocery store
6. Locate watermelon section
7. Pick up watermelon
8. Sniff watermelon
9. Purchase watermelon
10. Drive back home
11. Cut watermelon into sections (be careful, this is the most difficult part!)
12. Put sections on plate to serve
13. Enjoy! You’ve made your first boneless watermelon!

Were-Gophers Not A Myth: Lloyd’s Darkest Truth

By Lauren Trevor

Recently, a dark secret has been discovered about certain staff members of Lloyd Memorial. Have you ever wondered why Mrs. Brady assigns so many essays? Well I did too, and after multiple stack-outs and sleepless nights, I’ve finally managed to uncover the truth. To put it simply, it is a mere distraction. Who can focus on anything else when they stay up slaving over a keyboard for hours writing essays? After tiring her students with her knowledge of literature and mounds of essays and book assignments, she has managed to keep this dark secret for years, and surprisingly none of the Tatler staff has managed to see such an obvious truth about our coordinator.

On numerous occasions, when the Talter is full and ready for circulation, Mrs. Brady mysteriously disappears for undefined amounts of time, which is one of the reasons she does not sell the newspaper with the staff. Last week I managed to tail her as she rushed to the art room. Peeking around the door frame, I caught a glimpse of a terrifyingly, unexpected sight. A brown-furred creature with long sharp teeth and piercing black eyes. In fear I rushed back to the Tatler HQ. My colleagues were still out selling as I jotted down my findings.

We have reason to believe Ms. Vogelpohl is an accomplice and fellow ‘were-creature’ as she has often been M.I.A. on certain occasions. It is supposed that during these occasions she transforms into a cat, explaining her numerous depictions of felines about the art room walls.

Research is still currently being conducted however, I must end now for I hear the clicking of gopher claws and faint meows in the distance. If something happens to me before I finish, anyone who finds this must…

The rest of the article was unfortunately assumed to be lost in publication. We apologize for the inconvenience!

–Tatler Staff

The Price of Prom: Girl’s Edition

By: Haley Harper

Everyone knows that prom is around the corner and it’s no secret how pricey prom can actually get.

Starting with the dress, which obviously has to be the perfect one: these can cost upwards of $100, some even spend $350 on something they are only going to wear for about six hours. Finding the right shoes that go with jewelry are hard to find, cheaper is better here: get shoes that are only about $30, that way you won’t feel guilty never wearing them again. If you get silver, sparkly shoes and wear them any other time than a wedding or prom, someone is going to judge you. Jewelry can be a hassle too, it’s hard to find what would look like with your dress without having it on you. To make your life way easier, take many pictures of the dress with different lighting and test it next to the jewelry when you look. Price range: no more than $30 to complete the look, $20 if you go for a sale rack.

Nails are a major component to the whole look that start at about $30 and can go up depending on if you want designs or a different nail shape. Doing your makeup or having it done can be relaxing but after getting to the end and finding the total. This goes for hair too. Hair and makeup can cost about $100 depending on your hair length and type. To get a bargain, make friends with people who know others who do hair and makeup. Tanning packages and/or spray tans can also cost you up to $40, everyone wants that bronze look to make every item work together. Lastly, if you’re taking a date don’t forget it’s your duty to buy the boutonniere. You know that thing NOBODY can pin on right? Don’t worry, it’s less than $15 at Swan Floral.

The total estimate of prom at the least is about $335. Good luck on prom day everyone!

Artist’s Spot Light #3

By: Lauren Trevor

In the past, all of the Artist Spotlights have been on students from any class, but in this edition, it’s time to switch it up a bit and talk about a member of Lloyd’s staff. If you haven’t already guessed, this week’s spotlight is on Lloyd’s own art instructor, Ms. Kim Vogelpohl.

If you’ve ever had Ms. Vogelpohl in class, then you know of her extreme love for animals with a higher focus on cats than any other. It’s no surprise that when she started out her interest in the fine arts, it began with drawing pictures of animals. She’s been drawing for as long as she can remember, and has had years of practice perfecting her sketches of felines and the like.

Today she still enjoys creating portraits of her animals but has broadened her illustrative scope to humans, landscapes and many other subjects. Her favourite mediums are pencil on paper and acrylic on canvas.

As she teaches Lloyd’s young artists, she encourages then to work hard every day and offers this advice to those who dream to one day further their art career:

“Never stop drawing; the more you practice, the better you will get.”

She also urges young artists to continue their studies during the summer, warning them that even small lapses when class is not in session can cause them to lag behind. Practicing everyday will only serve to aid young artists in their artistic goals.

A Quick Guide to Part-time

By Emily Phillips

As summer draws near, many teens will begin the yearly ritual of job-searching. Obviously, fast food and retail seem like the automatic go-to source for some quick cash. However, as many have come to find out, happier alternatives do exist.

Part 1: McDonald’s should be your last resort. Yes, you will absolutely get hired and paid. No, you will not be happy. Some fast food restaurants are quite tolerable, but from my personal experience, and everyone else I’ve known to work there, we hated it. If you have a high tolerance for stress and constant complaints, you may be able to stand this job.

Part 2: Make sure to check absolutely all openings. Work is incredibly easy when you can be satisfied with where you are. I’ve heard positive words about Silverlake, Salvadore’s, and Kings Island (if you have the transportation). Also, day cares seem to be a growing interest for many female teens, while males tend to head towards stores that sell electronics.

Part 3: Try being your own employer. This alternative to working for a specific company allows you to do something that you are good at and enjoy. Yard work, babysitting, car washes, lemonade stands; the whole shebang. Whether you stay home or go out is up to you, and so is your pay.

While being self-employed offers complete freedom of choice, it does not have a guaranteed salary. Competition is high, and that results in many teens either not working, or working in the traditional minimum wage jobs. Most times, however, teens are adequately comfortable with whatever job they earn. Cash is cash, and teens will always be grateful for it.

What’s Poppin’ with Student Council

By Habsa Dia

The secret organization that you hear so little about is rounding up the year with a couple events. One is the spring rewards. Just like last semester’s rewards, it has the same qualifications to participate:

* Two or less tardies to class.
* Only one unexcused absence or tardy to school.
* No major referrals.

If you meet all these requirements, you will be taking part on a voyage to Jimmie’s Rolledrome on Friday, May 22nd during 5th and 6th periods. If you need a reminder on this information or just a colorful place to look instead of staring at blank walls while walking, I recommend you go see the wonderful posters around the school located in the front lobby, in the bubble between Graves Avenue and second hall, and in front of the attendance office.

Also for senior student council members out there wanting some of that college cash, be sure to apply for the LMHS Student Council Scholarship. It’s due by Thursday, May 14th to our overseer, Mrs. Lawson. So please stop by and pick up an application. The only seniors that received an application, during our last meeting for this year, are the organization leaders and our newly appointed king, senior Sarah Singleton.

As the saying goes, “All good things must come to an end.” But in this case, all great things must come to an end. Noble leaders must step down and let the next era remain in their shadow, never to outshine them. Great leaders have to move on up to higher challenges and take on the world. They shall graduate and leave behind a superb legacy.

This era of greatness is truly meeting its end, seeing that even our amazing overseer has decided to step down. While the magnificent Mrs. Lawson plans on resigning from her position to focus on other school functions, our king speaks for us all when she had said, “It was pretty fun with Lawson. It wouldn’t be the same with any other teacher.”

To the group of officers that will chase the reins of Student Council: Good luck. Even though all of us are soon going to go our separate ways, as Mrs. Lawson splendidly puts it, we will always be the “koolest kats in towne.”

Polish

By: Lauren Trevor

As expected, due to being the official “melting pot” of the globe, many of us who are born in America have families who have more foreign origins than we can count. “Pure American Mutts,” as some would put it. Among this amalgamation of cultures are the Poles. If you ever decide to visit Poland, be expectant of a few things. First thing’s first, the term “Pollack” when directed toward someone of Polish descent is derogatory. Even if it seems harmless, don’t use it or you will most likely be shunned and/or glared at, and you definitely won’t be getting directions back to your hotel.

In the Polish culture, family and close friends of the family are top priority in all situations, as family is after all in the center of the entire social structure. Simply put, family members and close friends are part of ‘inner circles’ and many Poles draw lines between people within their ring and outsiders.

Another thing is pierogi. Because really, who doesn’t love pierogi? Unless of course you have never had them, which is a crime in itself. This dish can be said in many different ways such as Pierożki and pyrogy as well and it is pronounced pie (as in pit), ro (as in row), and gi (glee). If you haven’t seen them at a grocery store or a restaurant, or if you have not even ever heard of them, they are basically just dumplings that can be stuffed with potatoes, mushrooms, cheese herbs, etc. and they look kind of like half-moon ravioli. Pierogi, which is the plural form of the word, are a traditional Polish food that are always served in portions of three or more. I mean, you can’t just eat one pistachio, and you definitely can’t eat just one pieróg.

The next aspect of the culture might be even better than potato-filled dumplings. How about two birthdays? That’s right. The Poles are one of the cultures who celebrate not only birthdays, but name days as well. When one celebrates their Name Day, it is like a second birthday. In the Polish calendar, each day is paired with a saint and when the tradition began all Poles were named after a saint. So each year, anyone who is over the age of thirteen has a celebration on the day of the saint they were named after.

All Around the World

By: Chris Deras

All around the world, countries from China to the United States each have their own beliefs, customs, and traditions that they practice. In China, when celebrating the New Year people will hand out red envelopes containing money to young children. The red on the envelopes represent good luck, and with putting the money in the envelope they believe that you`ll have good luck with money throughout the New Year. My heritage is from Honduras a small country located in Central America. Our New Year our tradition is similar to the Burning Man festival, except our burning man is supposed to represent the old year, and when it is set ablaze it signifies a fresh start into the New Year. Another one of our traditions is throwing a big parade during Honduras’s Independence Day, which is September 15th. The parade consists of a bunch of school children dressed in blue and white uniforms sporting 5 stars (the amount of stars on our flag) and marching through the streets of Tegucigalpa singing the national anthem and playing instruments. This is accompanied by fireworks and celebrating the rest of the day. Similar to our July 4th here in America.

Scotland

By Andrew Stookey

Ah, Scotland, the land of bagpipes, haggis, and kilts. This lovely country, just north of the UK, is a place where most people in America will say they have ancestors. About 20-25 million Americans are of Scottish descent, and at least 23 presidents have had some Scottish ancestry. Scotland has been handing down its traditions and customs to descendants since the 12th century, and today, many people still take pride in the rich heritage that is being Scottish.

Approximately 1.5 million Scotts have immigrated to America, and have been since the early days of colonization. Enormous portions of America’s population have Scottish ancestry. This can be seen in many ways, a common one being names. Surnames beginning with “Mc” or “Mac” usually relate to Scottish heritage. The Scotts have also brought us Buick cars, Elvis Presley, and Neil Armstrong.

When it comes to food, many people think of haggis, a gross looking pudding with some sheep pluck (heart, liver, and lungs) and various vegetables, but Scotland has brought us much more than that. Both fried chicken and hotdogs originated in Scotland. Whiskey was also brought by the Scotts, but drinking alcohol is bad, so let’s forget that one. Campbell Soups and Kelloggs were both founded by Scottish men, adding to the Scottish cuisine found in America.

One cultural tradition held by the Scotts is the Highland Games. Before Scotland was ruled under a government, there were many separate clans led by Chieftains. Once every year, the Chieftains would host their own games to see if their clan members were prepared for war.

The Highland Games consist of field and track events, dancing, piping competitions, and heavy events, such as hammer throw, tug-o-war, and the caber toss. A caber is a long pole, usually from the branch of a Larch tree. The official measurements are 19 feet 6 inches, weighing in at around 175 pounds. The goal is to throw the pole and have it flip midair, land vertically, and flip away from the thrower, landing in a 12 o’clock position flat on the ground. Distance does not matter when judging the caber toss.

Today, Highland Games are still held, and it is treated much like a country-specific Olympics in Scotland. Various cities around the country hold them, and crowds are usually very large at the games.

Sport is highly regarded in Scotland, with football, or soccer, being the number one sport of the country. Scotland’s football association is the second oldest football association in the world, being dated back to 1424. Other sports played commonly in Scotland are rugby, cricket, and golf. Scotland’s golf courses are known for being very luxurious, and players have come from all over the world to play at its famous courses, including the Old Course, Carnoustie, Gleaneagles, and Royal Troon.

Music is a very important aspect of Scottish culture, and is mostly well-known for the use of bagpipes. There are many bagpipe bands that have emerged from Scotland, featuring one or more bagpipe players, drums, fiddles, harps, or accordions. Traditional Scottish music is played during most national holidays.

Around January 25, every year, the Scots have a Burns supper to celebrate the life and poetry of Robert Burns, a famous Scottish poet. A typical Burns supper involves haggis, and one of Burns’ poems, titled Address to a Haggis. It goes a little something like this:

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face Great Chieftain o’ the puddin’ race!

There is more, of course, but it would take up way too much space. Poems like this, and many, many others, are why the Scots celebrate Robert Burns.

Along with Burns, another Scottish hero is William Wallace, a war hero from 1298. After defeating an English army, he was appointed Guardian of Scotland. He served until his defeat at the Battle of Falkirk. He was then hanged, drawn, and quartered for high treason against the country of England. He has been written about in epics, poems, books, and is the idea behind the 1995 film Braveheart.

All in all, Scotland’s traditions and culture have been passed all throughout America in many ways. Be it food, music, or even inspiration for movies, the Scots found ways to plant their heritage in many Americans today.

Chef Singleton

Although I may not look it, I am part Cherokee on my mother’s side. The Cherokee tribe was one of the largest of the “Five Civilized Tribes” that settled in southeast part of the United States. They were also one of the most culturally and socially advanced of the Native American tribes. They thrived for many years prior to the arrival of European settlers. Due to the lack of recorded history, it is uncertain where exactly the Cherokee people originated, but they are believed to be descendents of the Iroquois tribe who settled in the Great Lakes region. Not only did the language of the Cherokee society derive from the Iroquois, but also their defining matriarchal social structure. Within the tribe, there were seven clans. Clan identity was passed one on the mother’s side and property was handed down from one’s mother. When it came time for marriage, one could marry into one of five clans: marrying into one’s mother or father’s clan was forbidden. Once married, a couple would live near the bride’s clan. The government of the Cherokee was very decentralized. The society was governed at the town level. Each town had a Town House, a Red Chief, and a White Chief. After the arrival of the Europeans, around the 1800s, the Cherokee tribe continued to thrive by embracing some of the settlers’ cultural elements. They began to adopt their style of dress, farming and building methods. The Cherokee were one of the first major non-European ethnic group to become U.S. citizens. They lived fairly peacefully among the Americans, until around 1830 when gold was discovered in Georgia. The Indian Removal Act, passed by congress under the presidency of Andrew Jackson, called for the forced relocation of numerous Indians from their homes, otherwise known as the “Trail of Tears.” They were moved to the “Indian Territory” that was part of what is now known as Oklahoma. After this, the Cherokee began to rebuild their society, creating a new constitution, a Cherokee Newspaper, and creating schools that were even considered superior to those of white settlements. Currently, the largest population of Cherokees remain in Oklahoma where there are three federally recognized Cherokee communities.

Now, this wouldn’t be Chef Singleton if I didn’t discuss food in some way or another. The Cherokee Tribe obtained food both by hunting and farming. The men hunted in the regions now known as the Smoky and Blue Ridge Mountains. They hunted mostly for small animals like deer, but also buffalo. The gardens, tended by the women, contained a large variety of vegetables such as corn, squash, pumpkins, and beans. So, I thought that I would give you the recipe for a relatively simple and traditional Cherokee dish: Bean Bread. I have yet to try this recipe, so I cannot vouch for its taste. Try it at your own risk.

Ingredients:
* 1 cup of cornmeal
* 1/2 cup flour
* 2 tsp baking powder
* 1 tbsp sugar
* 2 cups milk
* 1/4 cup melted shortening
* 1 beaten egg
* 2 tbsp honey
* 4 cups drained brown beans

Recipe:
1. Mix all of these ingredients, except beans, thoroughly, and then fold in the beans
2. Pour into greased, heated pan
3. Bake at 450 until brown (usually 30 minutes or so)

Shawnee Heritage

By Isabella Cross

On my mother’s side of the family, my great great grandfather was a Shawnee Native American. He owned a farm in North Carolina. I still have many family members in North Carolina, but the pure Shawnee ethnicity has not carried on its legacy. Even so, it is important to learn about your heritage to understand where you came from. I did some research about the history of the Shawnee tribe and their traditions in order to have a better understanding of how my ancestors lived.

The Shawnee people originated in Ohio, Kentucky, and Indiana, but they traveled to areas all over America. They lived in dwellings called wigwams which structures are made with wooden poles with coverings made out a variety of materials that could include grass, bark, mats, and hides or cloth. For transportation they made canoes by hollowing trees. They fed their families through farming and hunting. Their primary crops were corn, squash, and beans. Fur trade was also a very prominent aspect of their lives.

Before the colonists came to America, there were over 10,000 Shawnee Native Americans. During the early 1800s, the leader of the Shawnee tribe was named Tecumseh. He greatly opposed the settlers colonizing America. His resistance of the settlers has come to be known as the War of Tecumseh. Not long afterwards, Tecumseh allied with Britain during the War of 1812 and because of this the number of Shawnees reduced to about 3,500 people.

The Shawnee people enjoyed music and that was a huge part of their culture. They had string instruments, drums, and handmade xylophones. They wore many layers of clothing including leggings and long skirts for the women, and leggings and long pants for the men. They usually kept their hair very long, but it was common for warriors to shave their hair into mohawks.

They often spent their free time doing arts and crafts. They did pottery, weaving, beadwork, and wood carvings. They also made beautiful bags and rugs. Also, a common activity in their culture was storytelling and elders would often tell stories about the Shawnee history to the younger generations so that their history would never be forgotten.

Now, most of the remaining Shawnees can be found in Oklahoma because that is where they were deported. As of today, there are about 15,000 Shawnees who live in the United States.

Dance Music of Senegal

By Habsa Dia

“World music is about taking things from different places and bringing them together – which is great.” – Youssou N’Dour

It’s safe to say that music is always going to be a part of one’s culture. We love to create it, dance to it, immerse ourselves in it, and even find comfort in it. My family comes from Mauritania and Senegal in West Africa, and music is definitely a major influence in our culture.

In Senegal, one popular music genre is Mbalax (Mbalakh). It means “rhythm” in Wolof, one of Senegal’s main languages. Mbalax is the national dance music of Senegal and Gambia. It’s a blend of popular Western music like jazz, rock, blues, Latin, soul, etc, and harmonizing it with the dance music and traditional drumming of Senegal, or sabar. The sabar, or rhythm drum, is the most common instrument in Senegal and is usually accompanied by dancing. It is generally used for celebratory occasions such as weddings, births, holidays, and other special celebrations.

Mbalax was formed in the 1970s, and remains mostly unchanged today. Before it was formed, music such as Zouk, American Soul, Cuban music, and others prevailed and were played as the Senegalese musicians interpreted it. Then in the early 70s, different artists mixed these popular genres with traditional Senegalese music, in an attempt to define their national identity. Two of the most popular music groups that played Mbalax at the time were Étoile de Dakar (Star of Dakar) and Raam Daan (to achieve your goal). Although many years have passed since formation of these groups, the main singers still continued their career. Youssou N’Dour was a member of Étoile de Dakar and a few other music groups, then soon became one of the most well known music artists in West Africa.
Thione Seck is the one who created the band Raam Daan in 1974 and he is still leading it.

Mbalax has spread to other regions such as Mauritania, Mali, Ivory Coast, and even France. A few examples of today’s popular Mbalax artists from Senegal would be Alioune Mbaye Nder, Coumba Gawlo, Viviane N’Dour (Viviane Chidid), and Waly Seck.

All the parts that make up Mbalax make it one of the most unique forms of dance music in West Africa.

Aaammerrrriiiccccaaaaa, Aaammerrrriiiccccaaaaa:

By: Jordan Gentry

Discovered in 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed with the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria in hopes of finding gold, pearls, and spices.

Slavery began when the first African slaves were brought to Jamestown, Virginia, in 1619, to aid in the production of tobacco. Slavery was practiced throughout America in the 17th and 18th centuries, and African American slaves helped build the economic foundations of the new nation.

As the Declaration of Independence was created in 1776 America became more and more of a country. With only 25 million people living in the U.S. a lot was done to help establish America.

Our flag was approved by the Continental Congress on June 14, 1777. The flag included the original “Old Glory Blue” stars that represented the original 13 colonies and the “Old Glory Red” and “White” stripes. The red signifies blood, hardiness, & valor, the white signifies purity and innocence, and blue signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice.

Fun Facts:
> About 35 MILLION AMERICANS SHARE DNA with AT LEAST ONE of the 102 PILGRIMS who arrived aboard the Mayflower in 1620.
(*That’s a lot of history*)
> The FIRST SLAVE OWNER was a BLACK MAN.
(*Shocker*)
> The DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE was written on HEMP PAPER.
(*;)*)
> JOHN ADAMS AND THOMAS JEFFERSON died 50 YEARS TO THE DAY of signing the DECLERATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
(*What a coincidence*)
> In 1893, an AMENDMENT was proposed to RENAME THE U.S. into the "UNITED STATES OF THE EARTH".
(*That just sounds dumb*)
> The U.S. GOVERNMENT POISONED ALCOHOL during Prohibition in the 20s and 30s, KILLING OVER 10,000 PEOPLE.
(*Killed more people than the alcohol probably did*)
> In 1943, the U.S. BANNED SLICED BREAD as a WARTIME CONSERVATION measure.
(*I mean I like bread for my sandwiches, so what did people eat for lunch?*)
> AMERICAN FLAGS MADE IN CHINA are BANNED IN THE U.S. MILITARY.
(*Can I ask why?*)
> 97% of RAPISTS in the U.S. NEVER SPEND A DAY IN JAIL for their crime.
(*Truly doesn’t surprise me*)
> In 31 STATES of the U.S., Rapists CAN LEGALLY SUE FOR CHILD CUSTODY if the rape results in PREGNANCY. (*That’s ridiculous*)
> At least 1 in 25 people sentenced to the DEATH PENALTY in the U.S. are INNOCENT. (*Everybody makes mistakes, clearly*)
> It COSTS THE U.S. GOVERNMENT US$2,768,902 PER YEAR to hold a prisoner in GUANTANAMO.
(*Hmmmm*)
> NELSON MANDELA was not removed from the U.S. TERROR WATCHLIST until 2008. (*I wonder why?*)
> RUSSIA & AMERICA are LESS THAN 4 KM APART at the nearest point.
(*Nope, I’m not scared at all*)
> There are still CASES OF BUBONIC PLAGUE reported in the U.S. EVERY YEAR.
(*Please tell me this is all lies!*)
> MEDICAL ERRORS are the 6TH LEADING CAUSE OF THE DEATH in the U.S.
(*And they said recovery would be easy*)
> In the U.S. there's an OFFICIAL ROCK PAPER SCISSORS LEAGUE.
(*I won’t be joining, everyone knows I suck at this game*)
> The U.S. has 115,000 JANITORS, 83,000 BARTENDERS AND 323,000 RESTAURANT SERVERS with BACHELOR'S DEGREES.
(*Such a great point*)
> In the U.S. it COSTS US$245,000 to RAISE A CHILD, before college.
(*Not a surprise*)
> There are MORE PUBLIC LIBRARIES than MCDONALD'S in the U.S.
(*Surprisingly*)
> COLLEGE TEXTBOOKS PRICES in the U.S. have RISEN FASTER THAN HEALTH CARE, HOUSING, AND INFLATION.
(*How sad, no wonder students are poor*)
> 1 IN 25 U.S. TEENAGERS has ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.
(*This needs to stop!*)
> There are MORE TVS in the U.S. THAN PEOPLE in the U.K.
(*We <3 TV*)
> APPLE has MORE OPERATING CASH than the U.S. TREASURY.
(*Cause the U.S. spends money “wisely”*)
> There are more FACEBOOK USERS from the U.S. than U.S. citizens that VOTED IN THE LAST ELECTION.
(*But we wanted the right to vote…*)
> EVERY TWEET AMERICANS SEND is being ARCHIVED BY THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. (*That’s not creepy*)

Scots-Irish Appalachian (No, really, it’s an ethnicity. Kind of.)

By: Mrs. Brady

Most people assume Appalachian has only contributed hillbillies, inbreeding, and meth to America. However, their influence, traditions and legacies go beyond these negative stereotypes. Scots-Irish Appalachian Americans are responsible for a vast cultural legacy from the birth of American music and beverage to several US Presidents and many American freedom fighters. But for simplicity sake let’s start with the three main influences: bluegrass, bourbon, and brawls.

What’s the difference between Scots-Irish and just Scottish or Irish? Irish immigrants traditionally came to the US during or after the Great Potato Famine in the 1840s and were predominately loyal Roman Catholics. Scottish immigrants came straight from Scotland proper while Scots-Irish immigrants are Scottish via a hundred plus year stay in Ireland.

It’s like this...the countries of Scotland and England border each other and for hundreds of years the groups have warred, bickered, and argued for freedom and territory. The English wanted the Scottish land, but the Scots wouldn’t relent and viciously fought back. Think William Wallace (aka Mel Gibson in Braveheart). The English had the great idea to move their Scottish rebel rousers to Northern Ireland, give them some land and be done with them.

Good plan, but now the Irish are upset that these Scots have taken their land. Thus ensues another couple years’ worth of fighting and terrorizing. Eventually, many of these people leave the persecution of the British crown and seek freedom in America. The largest flux of Scots-Irish, or Ulster-Scots as we are known outside the states, occurred in the 1700s. But why Appalachia?
Easy! It looks and feels like home. It’s isolated, mountainous and, at the time, pretty much free. Free from government rule and free as in – doesn’t cost a penny. My ancestors have been traced well back to the early 1800s moving through North Carolina to the hills of eastern and central Kentucky. Our best guess: we were run away indentured servants (immigrants who agree to be servants for a set amount of time in an exchange for passage to the new world).

So what’s left of these warring, clannish, mountain loving people?

Brawling. Many of the family feuds of Eastern Kentucky and Appalachia are often credited on clannish, familial culture of honor legacy of the Scots-Irish. For hundreds of years, our ancestors were bred on fighting and maintaining family land. Hence, comes the family feuds. The best known feud is the Hatfield and McCoy feud. A feud that began over a pig was romanticized with forbidden love and ends with the death of several people. It’s even believed that I am a descendant of the Baker/White feud of 1905. All those years of warring and fighting has left a people ready for good throw down.

Even social scientist Malcolm Gladwell agrees. In his book The Outliers, he dedicates a chapter entitled “Harlan, Kentucky” to a 1990s University of Michigan experiment on the Culture of Honor.

The scientists at Michigan found that when agitated or aggravated college students of Northern decent remained calm after being insulted; however, the students of southern decent were notably agitated and angry. The scientists’ hypothesis: after hundreds of years of oppression and fighting breeds some easily agitated people ready to brawl. Don’t mess with the Fraulein.

Bluegrass music also originates from the Scots-Irish influence in Appalachia. The music from Ireland, Scotland, and England developed through a couple of hundred years within the mountains of Appalachia and began what was known as “mountain music”.

Bill Monroe, a Kentucky native, and his band “The Bluegrass Boys” popularized the Bluegrass genre during their 1939 appearance at the Grand Ole Opry. While this may seem unimportant to most of you who prefer Drake to Alison Kraus, without bluegrass odds are you don’t have country music which lead to rock and roll. And of course Chuck Berry leads to Elvis which leads to Motown which eventually in a much bastardized route leads the Class of 2015 to their sweet and disturbing love of J Cole.

Minus Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Kentucky dynasty basketball, the most popular legal export of Kentucky comes from our Scots-Irish roots: bourbon. There are currently more barrels of bourbon in Kentucky than there are people. Kentucky produces 95% of the world’s bourbon.

The origins of bourbon originate from the Scots-Irish people that brought the distilling process with them. In fact the Whiskey Rebellion of 1791 pushed the Scots-Irish further into Appalachia to hide from their government and prohibit the revenuers from taxing their moonshine. Down with the man.

The influences of the Scots-Irish could go on for many Tatlers. From Andrew Jackson to Ashley Judd, we have contributed much to American society. However, on a final note, the proper terminology is Scots-Irish. Not Scotch-Irish. Scotch should only be used to refer to that stuff Ron Burgundy drinks.